[ALIGN_R=http://cdn3.knowyourmeme.com/system/icons/80/medium/doubt.jpg.jpg?1236004312]http://cdn3.knowyourmeme.com/system/icons/80/medium/doubt.jpg.jpg?1236004312[/ALIGN_R]To the members of VFXtalk,
As you may know, I have taken it upon myself to go to war with the senior members of the visual effects community, and with the vfx artists who make up a large part of the industry in the USA and UK.
While it has hopefully brought a much needed change to the site and I am sure has caused many people to think about the real issues that exist in the industry today, it didn’t work out that well at a personal level and so I would like to officially apologize for the flames, the insults and the attempt to tear our community apart instead of unite it around a common cause.
To understand me before you judge me, however, you need to understand where I am coming form. I suffer form a unique and rare terminal illness at a genetic level that flipped my dna when I was a child and made me, literally, allergic to life on this planet.
Since I was around 8 years old I have had to take really strong medication, the kind that wold stop your heart, on a daily basis to regulate the hormones in my brain and align it with your plane of reality, and have been doing so for over 20 years now.
Unfortunately, while my medication keeps me alive and allows me to function quite well at a technical level, it also has severe side effects such as loss of short term memory, the inability to sleep, and makes me prone to psychotic breaks when not regulated.
These breaks dont happen that frequently, as i usually remember to take my medication, but when they do they tend to rip apart the fabric of the universe around me leaving me in a fragmented reality where I feel the need to destroy everything around me for better or for worse.
My doctor always told me I would not live past 20, and when I hit 25 my shrink told me that I was mentally unfit for society. As a result i have pursued a life in the digital realm where I don’t have to interact with regular people.
10 years later my probation officer and the judge told me the same thing, however I have been able to succeed in life where many have failed and have been able to secure a wife (after 2 tries), raise a family and secure a considerable amount of personal wealth against all odds.
Over the past few months I have been experiencing mental tremors, and went back to my doctor to have my medication regulated, which after a few tests he did. Unfortunately i found out a few days ago that he died in 2005. As you can imagine this has made me stop an think about many things.
One of the things I have been thinking about was the way I responded to the community here over what some may think as a trivial matter, but to me was deeply wounding because of the challenges I had to face living on this planet.
During the ensuing rampage i developed a split personality that has been busy using the considerable amount of technology I have access to, to go to war with the members that took me on. Its surprising what you can do if you know how to travel the digital pathways of the internet at a base level.
Thankfully Invader777 introduced me to courage wolf, and the ensuing internal battle in my psyche introduced a new personality to the multiple personalities which are me that has now taken over and is helping to unite my mind and bring me back to what you would consider reality.
I have convinced myself, after much debate, that I have been going down the wrong path – not just here but also in my other life where I have been doing things that make the arguments here look more like a love affair. I owe Invader777 a lot for helping me to get here, and remember it, and hope to repay him one day.
I have decided that it is in my best interests to take a 1 year sabbatical and seek enlightenment and will be leaving to immerse myself in the fabric of the digital universe so as to try to understand my calling in life and the reasons why your organic technology has kept me alive.
Before I leave I will be turning over control of the vfxtalk community to Andreas Jablonka and Gentle Fury, who have proven to be men of real character in their actions over the past few weeks.
I believe they are the leaders your community is looking for. Given time I am sure that they can help you all to find a way to mend the issues that have affected your industry and through leadership can help to unite the different vfx factions that are spread across the world.
I thank you for your time, and for reading this message, and again extend my apologies to anyone who was affected in the vfxwar that was waged here.
Best Regards,
Jah Shaka
* Just in case you think any of the above is false or made up, or i am trying to be condecending, as i know it sounds a bit off kilter, i assure you that it is all factual and 100% accurate. none of it is fabricated.
